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Because the word "perfect" is in the word "perfectionist" people have the misconception that being a perfectionist is a good thing. Even 99% of the perfectionist believe that it is a good thing.

Perfect – Being entirely without default or defect; Flawless, Pure, Absolute, Unequivocal… (You get the picture)….

Perfectionist – a disposition to regard anything short of perfect as unacceptable.

My definition of a perfectionist - the relentless pursuit of something you can never have … not in this life.

For me the difference is self evident in each word’s individual definition. Perfect being Flawless or "Pure" and Perfectionist regarding anything short of perfect as unacceptable is almost a contradiction in terms.

Perfect is "pure" and without fault. A perfectionist cannot and will not "accept" anything less than perfect … This unacceptable attitude removes anything to do with "pure" for to seek perfection is one thing but to literally demand everything around you to be "pure" or "flawless" removes the "Purity" from you and or your intentions. You see, we have no right to expect or demand perfection in anyone … not even ourselves.

Why would I say this? For anyone to require perfection in you will require this same said perfectionist to make a decision on your perfection or better defined they must pass judgment on you … they must determine that you are "unacceptable". GOD says that "Judge not lest ye be judged". If you judge you have sinned, particularly if it is a condemning judgment and that is what perfectionists do. They are extremely critical and judgmental of everything and everyone. Including themselves. Judging things may not be a sin … judging people is. Paul says in Corinthians, " A man is subject to judgment of no man" and he goes on to say " Ye, I judge not even myself."

So … being a perfectionist, in itself, is flawed and is definitely a contradiction in terms.

From a human standpoint it is extremely stressful on all parties and it is particularly stressful on the perfectionist. Why is it so hard on the perfectionist – "Because he / she relentlessly pursues something he / she can never have". He / she can "never" be flawless. Everyone around them cannot and will not ever be perfect all the time.

Imagine picking up just ten lbs and holding it over your head with your arms fully extended. 10 lbs is light and lifting it over your head would be extremely simple for most people. Now imagine attempting to do it without ceasing. Even 10 lbs can become extremely heavy and it becomes heavy in just a few minutes and will reach the point of unbearable in 5 minutes, 10, 15, 20 … some time very soon.

For you to keep this 10 lbs up over your head you must focus your mind and concentrate all of your energy on holding up this little 10 lb weight. Any distraction is extremely irritating and you will verbally lash out at the distraction. Whether it is "the idiot driver that just turned left without using his signal, or the athlete who just fumbled the ball at the goal line, or, getting worse, the spouse who didn’t answer a question the exact way that you wanted them too, or possibly the worst lashing out, the 3 year old child that walks in between you and the TV and stops directly in front of you."

Well being a perfectionist is even more tiring than this because the weight of relentless pursuing perfection is more like 1,000 lbs … which means added to the exasperation is the inability to even get the weight of the ground. To make matters worse, the more exasperated you get, the harder you try, and the harder you try causes the weight to increase geometrically.

You see the weakness in the perfectionist is the inability to properly cope with failure. Oh, they deal with it but not as GOD would have them to do … with humility … to be humble, as GOD requires, you must lovingly and patiently accept imperfection.

NOW we have 3 flaws in being a perfectionist – being judgmental, exasperating your children, and a lack of humility.

Now let me throw you another curve, Jesus says that we are to be perfect as our Heavenly FATHER is perfect. So we are to pursue perfection … BUT … not as a perfectionist. Only GOD has the right to make demands of us … and … most importantly … to judge us.

How do I know these things? I am a perfectionist……….

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